Ever hear the one about the Farmer and the Horse? A Quarantine Quandary

There is an old story that I was reminded of in the midst of the current global Covid-19 crisis.

A man is walking down a country road, and he sees a farmer by the lake with his horse.  The farmer is tugging on the horse, trying to pull it toward the water. But the beast won’t budge.

The man approaches and asks the farmer what’s going on. “Trying to get him to drink,” said the farmer. “We’re about to set off on a trip and this is the last water for a while. I’m just being practical, but he’s so stubborn.”

“Mind if I help?” asked the man. The farmer accepts, and the man looks to the ground. He grabs the largest stick he can find, walks up to the horse, and – WHAP! – smacks it in the head.

“What’d you do that for?” the farmer screams, incredulous.

“Well, first you have to get his attention,” the man replies.

****

I think it’s safe to say that the coronavirus has metaphorically smacked us in the head. It certainly has our collective attention.

We are all under threat from a very real and ruthless enemy. And hopefully we’re doing the things that we need to do. We’re social distancing, washing our hands, and staying at home to ensure we don’t catch or spread the virus.

Our daily lives have changed dramatically as we try to adjust to a new reality. This has even gotten the attention of our elected officials, and they are actually cooperating to get something done.

There’s a seemingly endless stream of articles about how to spend our days in order to maintain sanity and hopefully make the most of our time cloistered and couchbound.

And that’s good… but to me, we’re missing an important question.

That is: What will we learn from this experience?

When it passes – and it will pass – what are the lessons we’ll take away?

What will we learn about how we spend our time… and how to spend it better?

What will we discover about our priorities… and how to make better choices?

What have we taken for granted … and how will we appreciate more going forward?

In fact, there are countless illuminating questions we can ask ourselves and others. And In terms of lessons learned, when I have faced crises in my own life, I’ve found another incredibly powerful tool which is both therapeutic and practical:

Keeping a diary.

In times like these, a diary allows us to pause and ponder. To explore what has happened in our lives in real time… and to ask ourselves why. Amidst all the tumult and trepidation, it allows us to gain perspective.

If we create the space — and have the intention — to explore and scrutinize our actions, we allow ourselves to see what might be getting in our way mentally and emotionally. A diary can help us to see more clearly now what we couldn’t see before.

In this way, a diary becomes a living testament: a compendium of epiphanies, insights and hard-won realizations that can reap rewards for weeks, months and years after.

You may be telling yourself: That’s okay. I don’t need to write it down… I’ll remember.

The problem is: You probably won’t. There is ample scientific evidence that our memories are unreliable. Not only are they filtered through our own limitations, blind spots and biases, but they get corrupted over time.  Psychologists have shown that every time we call up an old memory, we unwittingly change it based on who we are now (versus who we were at the time). Plus, the reason we recall it further changes  the memory to suit the current objective.

By keeping a diary, you not only clarify and memorialize your thoughts, but you just may find a better path forward for yourself – whether in work, your relationships or just in your general approach to the world. I’ve found it’s a great way to get through a tough time. And the insights you uncover in the midst of a crisis are sometimes the most transformative.

If we pay attention, the current crisis offers an opportunity to gain new perspectives. So that, harkening back to our horse in the story above, we’ll not only drink the water when necessary, but we’ll appreciate it more. And as for the current quarantining, we can think of it as a remarkable opportunity for personal reflection and growth.

Yes, this virus has our attention.

So what will we learn from it?

Whatever it is, I recommend we write it down.

These lessons come in handy the next time something smacks us to attention.